saying goodbye.. sometimesssss

its good to hear your voice saying my name.
it sounds so sweet.
with the lips of an angel...
never wanna say goodbye, but girl you make it hard to be faithful, with the lips of angel.
honey why you calling me, soo late.<33

lmfao.

i hate how i feel like ive lost all my friends.

well i havent really been doin much lately, my birthday was a couple days ago.
jeff took me to the zoo<3 it was fun, then we watched a movie at his house and just hung out, i really had a good time, seriously he did so much for me, and i coudnt even of asked for more.
i got my belly button peirced with beccaaaaaaa.
i still definately dont have a job, which i need one, i owe people money, i have a ticket i have to pay for in 2 weeks and i have NO money at all.
i have kinda drifted away from some of the old people i have been close with, maybe it for the better because i seriously feel like i dont wanna party alot any more, i just wanna be with my close friends and jeff, i know that might sound bad, its weird cause i just dont feel the same way, like almost not happy when im with some people, i have been hanging out with jeff alot lately which i love, i feel like i miss even when i spent the whole day with him a day ago, and i love that, i have so much fun with him, i just love how far we have come , and with everything that happens in my life i swear he makes everything okay, no matter what, and i love everything about that, i love how hes my everything.
im gonna start macomb in september, but i dont know if theres a deadline to sign up? or whatever you have to do to go there.
i really wanna go camping so bad! hopefully after my graduation party ill have enough money to go.
ill see.
it made me really happy to know that after all these years the poeple that maeant so much to me, still remember the things that used to be important, that means alot.<3
i dont know.
i hope everyones doin good and havin a good summer.
this was kinda gay, but i was bored.




i love you<33

i love how these explain how you can feel.

when i run away from you
follw me.
when i pout my lips
kiss me.
when i kick
hug me tight.
when i call you crazy
im crazy about you.
when im silent
im thinking how to say I LOVE YOU.
when i ignore you
i want all your attention.
when i pull away
grab me by the waist and tell me you'll never let go.
when you see me at my worst
tell me im beautiful.
when i scream at you
tell me you love me.
when you see me walking
sneak up from behind me and rest your head on my shoulder.
if i dont call you
im waiting by the phone for yor call
when im scared
hold me by the waist.
when i look like somethings the matter
kiss me and tell me everythings gonna be okay.
when i hold your hand
play with my fingers.








so much.
i love you.

i love you jeff.
thats all i love you.

RIP danielle linville.
happy birthday.
always in our hearts.
love + miss you.<3


the smile on your face lets me know that you need me.
theres a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me.

i never knew.
i never knew that everything was fallen through.
that everyone i knew is waitin on que to turn and run when all needed was the truth.
but thats how its gotta be.
its commin down to nothin more than apathy.






















iloveyouboyy<3

i love you.
thats all.<3

i cant take loosing another person.
i feel so lost.
im gonna miss him so much.

im so excited.
i cant believe its already here.
panama with my girls.. and of corse chris<3.
miss everyone. be safe.










love you.

dude.. its like 5 in the morning and i cant sleep for the life of me..
i havent updated in a long time.. so i thought i try.

Lately ..
its been hard.. school.. NO JOB. (but i finally got one).. no money, car,as of yesturday no phone.. but who knows how long that will go..
Its just hard because my dad expects me to be something that im not.. and everyone tells me to just be like okay and pretend that im okay with what he does and i cant.. i have to tell him how i feel or i feel like he won. & i dont think that because im his kid i should just be like ohh your an adult so ill listen to you.. fuck that.. Im not like that so.. im takin the hard way.
The hardest part is not haveing anything.
or maybe not being able to go to Panama<3.. & if i dont go.. ill be so sad.:( So im kinda trying to just get things back to normal, but its hard.
Anyway..
im gonna graduate, but it sucks cause i grew up in roseville everyone i know and everything i was so used is there, it makes sad that i know i wont be able to go graduation and graduate with everyone.. or like just being at school on the last days and stuff.. All i can do is go to graduation, try to be at school the last day.. and be as involved as i can.. its jsut hard to look back and know that I COULD have dont something, but i fucked up. :(
im still gonna go to prom.. and be with my girls<3.
its just so sad when i think that its almost over. Like all the meories and friends i used to have.. not saying that were not friends.. but dont talk to over the years.. I used to be so close with so many people.. and now i have my selected few<3 but i think about jr high.. 10th grade.. the summers.. the stuff i learned and grew up with.. it so sad to know that after this year i know i wont see ANYONE.. i barely talk to anyone now that i dont go to roseville..
But after i graduate after this summer im moving.. i think i might actually go away to college.. if i get accepted..? i dont know.. i jsut feel like i need to get away..
i just want to live these next couple of months to the fullest, see old friends.. BE CRAZY.

LIfe-
Hopefully going to warped tour.<33333333
SPRING FUCKIN BREAK LIKE 9 days..
i need a hair cut and i need to dye it or something.
shopping?
The girls and i are good.. i havent seen some of them in a while.. but spring break were fuckin .. ahh im just so excited..
jeff and i.. well im not sure what we are.. but its good..
Everyone said..
but look.. <333333333
Hes my bestfriend.. my everything.. & i love him.
i hope everyones doin good.
& i hope everyone has a awesome spring break.. live it up..
this year is flyin by.. the days just go man.
Girls<33333


im gonna take a shower now..
this entry was kinda gay..





<3

I will never find another luva sweeta than you,
Sweeta than you
And I will never find anutha luva more precious than you
More precious than you
Girl you are
Close to me you're like my mother
Close to me you're like my father
Close to me you're like my sister
Close to me you're like my brutha
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing

And all my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

I said you're all that I'm thinkin' of.....baby

Said, I promise to never fall in love with a stranger
You're all I'm thinkin' of, I praise the Lord above
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug
I really love you

And all my life, baby, baby, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you, baby
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me

You're all that I ever known
When you smile, on my face, all I see is a glow
You turned my life around
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known
When you smile on your face all I see is a glow
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known
When you smile on your face all I see is a glow
You picked me up when I was down
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes I pray that you do love me too

All my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too





<3

I would just like to say i love tiffanie danielle draper with my whole heart, and thank you for being my bestfriend.. through everything.



















































You make so happy<333

i just need to let my feelings out..

I like my new job.. but its so boring.
I seriously feel like i have no friends.
I seriously feel like i WONT ever have a boyfriend, the ones/one i want dont want to be with me.. IM SO SICK OF WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COME ALONG.. cause i know it wont happen. So many people say wait wait it'll come to you.. how long do you have to wait? and why can some girls have like 8 different boyfriends in like a month and me have not 1 in like 8 months. I wish i could just snap my fingers and have him.. i dont know.. i guess its just who i am.
I have 8264823658643985 things i have to pay off.
Spring Break is comming, and i dont even talk to anyone that im going with anymore.
I go to school with 2738596340986 black people.
Im not gonna graduate from Roseville, and i feel like i have wasted so many years just to get to my senior year, and i wont even get to expeirence any of things that i should.
Im so tired of being alone exspecially when im home at night and i sit there, i hate taht more than anything. and trying so hard and failing at EVERYTHING.
I feel horrible that my whole family things i have no heart.
Im sick of always have to complain.
i wish just for a day, i could go the whole day and not have something, someone or myself have a bad day.
I feel like i have nothing at all to look forward to. Theres nothing ahead of me.
Well what are you gonna do. I felt like i needed to get that out. Its just like i miss my old friends, my old life.. As hard as it was.. it was easy compared to what i live now.

I just want to say i love all my friends still and im always here.














I still love you..





I NEVER BEEN THE KIND TO EVER LET MY FEELINGS SHOW.
but im just DRUNK enough.
to let go of my pride..
but tonight im gonna cry.

Its funny cause when i look back i seen i had so much. but when i look forward i see nothing.

i hate when i feel SO alone.

So here we are
Back to the start again
Trying hard to wait 'til morning

Hey, Rise and shine
And open up your eyes
To give this world some color
Shine on diamond eyes
Seperate the space between love and lies

And as days go by, the memories remain
I'll wait for you.
And as days go by the memories remain
I won't let go.
These days remain the same.
Pictures fade away

Please don't ever, change.
Please don't change your mind
No matter what they say
I'll always wait.

And as days go by, the memories remain
I'll wait for you.
And as days go by, the memories remain
I won't let go.
These days remain the same.
Pictures fade away...

I hope you never...fade.
As you drip through my...veins.
Shine on (Shine on) Shine on
Diamond eyes.
Shine on (Shine on) Shine on
Diamond eyes.
Shine on (Shine on) Shine on
Diamond eyes.

As days go by the memories remain
I'll wait for you.
As days go by
I swear I'll try until I die
Anything for you.




This whole break has been nothing but drama.
It was fun though, through everything.
Also Shelly im glad we talked, it was nice.. I miss ya.
Christie words cant describe how much i apprecaite all you've done. Thank you for everything. Love you
Jeff.. thank you for always caring. Your always there. love you & thanks.
I love my friends.
an im not gonna lie, i love captains..



2006<33

i miss the old days..
old freinds..
good times..
bad times..
ALL OF THE MEMORIES, they dont fade.


-I barely talk to any of the ppl i used to, i miss that. I hate walking down the hall way feeling like an out cast against everyone. I miss the way i felt welcome when i walked up to soemone. Im sorry for changing and going my own way.

Septemeber has been one of the worst times in my life, i thank everyone whos been there i appreciate it.
I hope things get better with evertyhing.
I miss my bestfriend, my everything. I will love you with or without your permission. Good luck with everything. I hope its right for you. Im here though.

Grandpa tell 'bout the good old days. Love you.




:'(

YOU WERE ONLY THE BEST I EVER HAD.

Well Im just gonna do a quick update..

Spring Break
-Well i basically hung out with Christie :)
-We did the ususal hung out with The guys which is always fun, we didnt really do anything really exciting.. but it was better then do doing nothing.. I wish i could have seen more ppl and hung out with them more but ya know shit happens.

General Things
-Im going to New York in 2 weeks :)
-Im really tired of feeling alone, when i know im not.. but at the same time i am.
-I miss the old relationship.
-Me and Stephanie i think are good again which is good, i did miss her.
-Me and My Aunt had a long talk last night and she showed me alot.. i just didnt see it.
-wow..
-Thats what i love about Sunday <33
-Jeff Im sorry.. I love you and I hope you can get over that whole situation.. cause YOUR MY BESTFRIEND.<33
-Christie ill call you as soon as i get home.

wow i gotta leave now.






SAY IM A BIRD



</3